Zombieland

Lookin’ for a movie to take your sweetheart to so you can kiss ‘er a bunch and not pay attention to what’s going on? Then DON’T go see Zombieland because you’ll be on the edge of your seat (or the back, whichever is more comfortable) the entire movie. Baby.

That’s right, hot stuff. I had the privilege of viewing Zombieland the other day and it made my pants tighter. I am a zombie fan. What can I say? I love zombies. They’re so awesome! I mean, seriously… if I got to choose how I’d die, I’d say zombie apocalypse… either that or… you know, making the world’s funniest joke and causing everyone laugh to death so that I was the only remaining human on earth. Then spending the rest of my years researching until I was able to reanimate their corpses and throw a huge, sexy party. During this party, I’d slip on some soap in the shower and somehow manage to have my heart explode out of my chest.

Moving on, Zombieland is actually a pretty decent flick. Our hero and main character, Columbus, is introduced while explaining why he is one of the few people left alive in this zany zombie zone. Following a strict list of rules, Columbus has managed to outsmart braindead zombies and keep his ticker tickin’. Soon afterward, we meet Tallahassee, a bad ass mofo that knows his way around butt whoopin’. Zombie-butts…. The whooping of. Yeah. The two go on a crazy adventure involving banjos, zombies, twinkies, zombies, sexy ladies, theme parks, zombies and plenty of laughs had by all.

Despite the fact that the undead in this movie are frighteningly agile (I prefer the slow, impending doom of decrepit, walking zombies) and most of the decisions made by the survivors aren’t exactly rational, Zombieland still provides enjoyment and countless knee-slappers allowing a constant grin throughout the film.

If my senseless ramblings actually left a positive impression on you, I recommend you buy some popcorn and cast your eyes upon Zombieland.