A Letter From a Concerned Father

Luke,

I am your father.

But that’s not why I’m writing to you – I want to talk about the decisions you’ve been making. Life decisions. I don’t think you’ve been making the best choices and as your father, I feel it’s my responsibility to let you know the alternatives.

I’ve wanted to tell you this for light years but I’ve never had the opportunity. It’s not easy, you know? It’s difficult running a Galactic Empire while my own son, my flesh and blood, runs around the galaxy as a member of the Rebel Alliance. I’ve always pictured you following in my footsteps, a little light sabre in your hand... It’s not too late.

Look, I’m sorry for cutting off your hand, but there isn’t much I can do about it now. You were being naughty and I had to discipline you. It’s what good fathers do. Besides, with modern technology these days, you can have a nice, shiny robot hand instead. I basically did you a favour.

Now concerning your sister – She is a bad influence on you and so are those Jedi Knights she carries in her pocket. I don’t want you hanging around with that crowd. I should have sent Leia to a desert planet instead of letting her get spoiled in royalty. She’s as stubborn as your mother was.

Listen, the point I’m trying to make here is that there are plenty of great job opportunities with the Empire. You don’t have to be a Sith Lord. You could be a storm trooper, imperial guard or even pilot your own Star Destroyer. Just because you’ve had a rough past doesn’t mean we can’t fix things.

I’m sorry I was never there to play catch with your or bulls-eye womp rats in your T-16 back home, but I’m here now. You can still make the right decision. Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.

May the force be with you, D.V.

P.S. -- Say Hi to Yoda for me.