Culture Shock

The Last Unicorn, by: Peter S. Beagle By Alex Murray

First of all, I would like to say I am a straight male without an agenda. That being said, do not judge this book by its title. The name may proclaim something about Unicorns and it being the last of them (I may have thought it said Unicron for a second: it clearly doesn’t) but don’t be fooled. This book is a satire of every faerie tale in existence, a self aware look at what happens when you make fun of every stereotype that has been overused by this genre. Yes, this book is sentient with excellence. It’s good and it damn well knows it. Kind of like Shrek only published forty years before it with no Eddie Murphy, and with more double-plus awesome.

You take the heroic Unicorn that isn’t that heroic and make her try to save the other Unicorns from a giant lonely Bull and throw in a magician that isn’t a magician and an Evil King that isn’t that evil and you get what could be potential garbage but turns into a faerie tale that isn’t a faerie tale at all. I was more than a little hesitant to read this after it being recommended by someone I trust, needless to say this story is everything you need in a book; funny, contemplative and likes long walks on the beach. Before you ask, yes, I would date this book, or the author, or both at the same time in some weird three way, literature love tryst.

The Crazies By Brad Denbow

“Hey there Mr. Dude. Whats goin’ on? Why did you bring that shotgun to the ol’ ball game?”\

[silence]

“Why dont you put the gun down so that we can get back to the baseball match?”

[gunman looks...crazy]

“Dont make me shoot you, now.”

[gunman raises weapon. sheriff shoots gunman in the face]

“Oh. Now you’ve gone and done it!”

[end scene]

And there you have the intro to the movie. From here on out its a bloody, paranoid decent into madness.

So there’s this small town. And in this small town everyone knows each other, they all get along just dandy and everybody is friends. Now add a splash of U.S. Government produced bio-terrror chemicals into this picturesque town, and there you have it: The perfect recipe for rural hysteria. If you have already seen the trailer for this movie then there really isn’t much to say; you already know what’s in store. But for those of you that are still wondering what I’m yakking about, let me break it down for you:

A plane engorged with toxic chemicals goes down in a swamp, the swamp supplies the town’s drinking water, the people drink the irradiated water and in turn are overcome with an inexplicable urge to shove pitchforks into one another’s chest. Sounds like a good time if you ask me!

Also, as silly as it may sound, there is a pretty intense scene at the car wash. Don’t laugh! It’s true.