12 Ways The World Could End in 2012

• The ongoing bee holocaust causes the rest of the animal kingdom to die of sadness one by one.

• Fed up with both Republicans and Democrats, the American public elects an independent atom bomb as president of the United States.

• Rushing to beat Nintendo’s Wii U to the market, Sony releases the Playstation Matter (PSM) and Microsoft releases the Xbox Antimatter (XAM) on the same day.

• Time travellers from the future go back in time to discover how human civilization as we know it was destroyed; the force of their craft ripping through the temporal barrier proves to be the cause. Full circle!

• We finally make contact with an intelligent alien race, who decide to visit Earth. Unfortunately, the extraterrestrials are a race of sentient ebola viruses.

• Something about neutrinos coming from the sun...that movie was a documentary, right?

• Scientists at CERN unveil that, in order to achieve their goals more quickly, they have secretly constructed a second particle accelerator to assist the Large Hadron Collider, called the Larger Hadron Collider. Coincidentally, the planet is then immediately struck by an asteroid.

•The Quill is shut down.

•It is discovered that the entire planet is a computer simulation created by David Attenborough so he could have something to talk about on television.

•During the time of the Great Conjunction, when the three suns align, the Dark Crystal is not restored and the evil Skeksis gain immortality.

• A massive earthquake sinks the entire state of California, causing a massive shortage in blockbuster movies and other forms of popular culture. No longer able to maintain the constant deadening that came with a life enveloped by mindless entertainment, most people are finally forced to face the crushing facts of reality. Unable to cope, western civilization ends in mass suicide.

• Earth goes on strike