Not many political parties can catch my attention. I am a pretty simple human being, I see things which I consider cool, productive, for the betterment of mankind and I go “Wow those ideas sure are efficient.” Then when I see things are which I consider dumb, unproductive or down right disrespectful I say “Wow those ideas sure could be more inclusive.” As far as political parties I am usually left shaking my head both ways as I walk in to the traffic which is the political arena.
There are many things I do not think need to be politicized but when it comes to satire? Well that may be my favourite type of politics. One group who I think are brilliant Canadian leaders in this field include the members of the Rhino Party. Parti Rhinoceros is a satirical political party which I think holds up its beliefs about as well as any other party. Oh, you’re curious what some of their platform promises are? Here let me inform you and help you get woke.
The Rhino Party would like to take Canada off of the gold standard, instead opting for a currency that better benefits Canada. We would instead use the snow standard to boost the economy. Next the Party has a law it would like to see repealed which weighs people down. With the law of gravity repealed everyone everywhere would be more free and the only thing that would hold them down would be what they could tie to the earth.
However if you thought the Rhino Party was just all puns and wordplay you would be sorely mistaken, they have serious goals too! For example, they would like to provide a higher education for students and also want to end crime. To achieve their education goals schools must simply need to be built taller and all laws need to be abolished.
The Rhino Party would really change up the political and geographical landscape if they had their way. They would the Rockies torn down so that Alberta can see the Pacific sun set and pave the Bay of Fundy to make parking more available for the maritimes. In Quebec they would abolish lawn mowing in Outremont and change rue Ste-Catherine into the worlds longest bowling alley.
Finally the Rhino Party also has plans for the democratic government and changes to make so that it would be more efficient. These include reforming Loto-Canada so they replace cash prizes with Senate appointments and have the Queen seated in Buckingham Quebec instead of that old dusty town of London.
With goals and plans like these its incredible that this party is not still around in a much greater force. The Rhinoceros are definitely the way to go when it comes to reshaping the Canadian dream. Please all help make Canada Great Again, one bad joke at a time.