By Blessing Onashile, Junior Reporter
Emotional pain is felt physically. I feel the necessity to shed more light on this. People don’t talk about this enough, and I think it should be publicized. Emotional damage affects your physical wellbeing. It starts with your mind, and it physically causes you a headache, then you start to lose appetite, then your chest hurts, and you start to lose weight. It affects you in many more ways than one.
Sometimes we can’t avoid this emotional stress, but I thought I’d share with you a few ways to hopefully help you deal with it.
1 Cry - Not because you’re weak, but because you’re human and it’s okay to express your emotions. Cry as much as you want, mourn the situation and let your emotions flow freely. I explain tears as this - when we work out our muscles, our skin sweats, but when we workout our emotions, our heart sweats out tears through our eyes. (Very unscientific, but I love it.)
2 Talk to someone - Talk to someone who understands you, not just someone who is available. Talk to the right people.
3 Forgive yourself - Forgive yourself for being in this situation. Even if it’s something that’s unavoidable, you still need to forgive you!
4 Give yourself rest and care - Even though you make up the society, to yourself you’re not the society. You’re you and only you can love you in the best way. So rest, not because you’ve achieved all your dreams, but because you’re still alive and that’s the greatest achievement. It’s okay to take that walk, go on that drive, buy that dress, have that spa day. “Money you don’t spend is not yours” -Femi Otedola
5 Appreciate yourself - You’ve come so far and you’ve got so far to go, so appreciate yourself. No one could have made the sacrifices you made for yourself like you. Only you can teach others how to love and appreciate you. So you have to do it first. If you think you failed, give yourself some accolades for at least trying and learning something.
6 You’re not alone - I know even if some wounds are similar, it hurts differently. Everyone takes different times to heal and we all have a different pain tolerance. But if you’re looking for a truth to hold on to here is it: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Cori 10:13)
7 Smile - Even when there’s nothing to smile about, look into the mirror and remind yourself what joy looks like on your face. It might feel strange in the moment, you might even burst into tears. But re-educate your lips to pierce through your cheeks and pains. Fake it till it becomes real (fake it till you make it).
8 Talk to yourself - The crazy magic of monologue is real. Write down, make a voice memo, bring yourself to the realization of your present situation. Allow yourself to come to terms with the fact that this is real and it’s happening to you. Denial phase seems like a good hiding place, but not for too long. When you reopen the wound dressing of the pain, rather than a scar, it would bleed all over again. Document it, because years after this it will seem so unreal.
9 Talk to God - I’m a big believer, and I can tell that there’s most likely going to be a situation in life you can’t handle yourself and talking to God would be the only solution.
10 Substances are not a solution - If you’re thinking of drinking alcohol or taking hard drugs, here’s a painful reminder that when you’re sober, your issues would still remain unresolved. I’m also going to save you the nursing teaching on how it would affect your lungs, liver and life expectancy.
11 Give yourself time to heal - Unlike recipes and workout plans, there’s no specific time to totally get healed. Sometimes you think you’re healed till involuntary tears start flowing down your face like streams in the summer. But be generous with the grace of time, and don’t let anyone tell you “you’re meant to have healed by now”. Just because they’ve gone through a similar situation doesn’t make it their decision to make on when you fully heal.