By Rosalina Valentine, Junior Reporter
What are relationships nowadays? That’s a question my friends and I have been wondering since summer ended. What are they, really? Do they even exist anymore? Are they what they used to be? To answer those questions, I have to ask you one first: what is a relationship? I know — only idiots answer a question with a question. But if you asked people, most would say a relationship is when two people ‘love each other.’ The real question is: do people truly love each other anymore? Or even want to?
The American psychologist Robert Sternberg once explained his Triangular Theory of Love. According to Sternberg, love consists of three components: intimacy, passion and commitment. Intimacy is about the feelings of closeness, connectedness and bondedness. Passion drives the romance, physical attraction, and intensity. Commitment is the decision to stay — the long-term choice that gives love its security and endurance. Sternberg said that knowing about these components of love may help couples avoid pitfalls in their relationships, because understanding helps people recognize the areas that need improvement — or when it’s time to let go.
But what does Sternberg’s theory have to do with relationships nowadays?
Everything! Understanding what loves means to you changes how you see your relationships and yourself. These days, people are less likely to label what they have with someone and instead, they call it a hookup, a situationship, or friends with benefits. Or, my personal favourite, “just friends”. There’s something deeply triggering about being labelled “just a friend” or “we’re just casual” by someone you care about. Trust me, I have been in that position before. From my experience, you would rather get shot with a nail gun repeatedly than get called someone’s “situationship” or “friend” for the moment.
Do relationships nowadays even exist? In my opinion — no. Maybe that sounds too dramatic, but I’m not exaggerating. Gen Z invented the word “situationship” for a reason. A term used to define a relationship that is more than a friendship but less than a committed relationship, which involves both emotional and physical intimacy. In other words, an excuse to keep someone close enough to matter, but not close enough to stay. It’s cruel, really. Sometimes you don’t even realize you’re in one - until you see the person that you like kissing someone else at the bar after begging you to come, just to watch them be with someone else.
Brutal, right? I wonder who went through that this summer?
Okay, okay, relationships still exist, sure. But are they what they used to be? Do people still confess their feelings the way Mr. Darcy does in Pride and Prejudice? Or Conrad Fisher in The Summer I Turned Pretty? Or even Laurie Laurence in Little Women? You might say, “but those are just movies and shows.” Movies and shows are inspired by real people — by us. So, why can’t we do the same thing? Why not confess your feelings for someone in a field at sunrise, or on a beach while the love of your life marries your brother, or maybe on a hill where the sun is setting (and they reject you anyways)? Why not take the chance to do something romantic, make a grand gesture, even if it doesn’t work out? Why? Why? Why?
Sing them a song, even if your voice makes them wish for temporary hearing loss. Write them a letter, even if your handwriting looks like ancient hieroglyphs. The point isn’t perfection — it’s the thought and dedication. It’s the effort, the vulnerability, the thought of trying. Those gestures — no matter how awkward they are — they create intimacy and commitment. They make love meaningful and sometimes unforgettable.
So, what are relationships nowadays? They’re a mystery to me. People rarely even label their significant other. In this generation, we’ve invented a whole vocabulary just to avoid saying “I love you.” Situationships are the new, awful label for people who just want the emotional and physical comfort of surface-level intimacy. They just want someone in the meantime until they do the Irish goodbye. Without true intimacy, passion, and commitment — without taking risks — we’re left with confusion, temporary comfort, and something we now call a situationship.