By Yensy Lopez

Relationships are complex; they involve the merging of two complex people from different backgrounds and experiences. Now, adding social media to this complicates things a little, in that social media creates new standards for what a relationship should look like and how the partner should act. This has been a realization for me in the last couple of months. I see so many different videos of relationships and find myself craving those things. Forgetting that social media isn’t real, that people only share fragments of their lives, and their happy times. This creates a problem in society, where we are constantly comparing our very real lives to these second-long videos that we get no contextual background on. This can lead to an idealized version of reality and of what relationships should look like, creating unrealistic expectations, as well as jealousy and insecurity. For example, something I have personally noticed is the increasing amount of couple holidays or celebratory dates, where we are sold this idea that if your partner loved you, they would acknowledge this day or give you a gift. This pattern is creating a new economic expectation in relationships, where one person is expecting complete or partial financial support from their partners, and constant material gifts. I think this idea is more problematic for younger generations, because young people don’t have the same financial stability as you do once you’re older. I believe it’s important to realize every relationship is different, and there are different phases to those relationships. A relationship is not always 50/50, sometimes it will look like 70/30. A relationship is about teamwork, about love and being a support system, each in its own unique way. No one should have an opinion about your relationship because it is not theirs, there is no competition and no comparison to other relationships. If you feel happy and that your needs are met in your relationship, there is no need to compare to the ones online, because you truly never know what the reality is behind a screen. A phrase that I came across, and it resonated with me, not just in the context of relationships, but in general, is, “Not everything that shines is gold.” Although social media can be a beautiful place where you can express yourself and have fun, as well as learn, it can also be deceiving.