The Perfect Date

The sparks have gone out. You need a little ‘jump start’ thrown into your romantic life. You don’t want to be one of those people that continually drown themselves in substances till they no longer can control their bladder. You certainly don’t want to look after your spouse at that point, better off to just kill them and apply for the insurance.

No, what you need to do is go on an epic date. The perfect date to not only rekindle your spark but to light up the entire town. Warning if done correctly this example I’m about to share with you may very well burn down a small sized town. Use this ‘fire’ advice with caution, cause this shit is  going to be Lit.

The date starts with you picking your partner up by 6:00pm. You then take them out to the small restaurant you two always go to. Only problem is it’s packed, your partner gets upset, they haven’t gotten to spend time with you this week. You whisper “The prophecies are coming true, quick we have to move.” Grab their hand, run out to the vehicle, except where you parked the vehicle their is now a horse drawn carriage. Say “There’s no time to explain, get in.”

Immediately start yee-haa-ing and tell your partner how important they are to you. Drive till you get three blocks down, there is an obstacle in the road. Leave the carriage and lead your partner beyond the obstacle and into a small dark house. The lights are off, you two appear to be all alone. Suddenly you flick the lights on and there are all of the puppies your partner has been ogling over. They overwhelm with emotion fall to their knees and try to get puppy love, you tell them there is no time to save all of them, they have to pick one. Give a few minutes here but as quick as possible leave through the back door with your new puppy.

Now you enter a big backyard lit with candles and their are roses everywhere. You look to your other half and tell them this is no safe place for a small poochie, so you reach behind a bush and pull out a kennel. Here you place the kennel on the ground and tell them not to worry, the dog will show up at our house, encourage them to keep moving. You hop a fence, and eventually lead your partner into a park. There are candles in the distance and you two get there to discover them in the shape of a heart and in the middle, a picnic for two.

In the picnic is your partner’s favourite food, you tell them you have about half an hour before the next task comes. Sit down and enjoy your meal. Flirt with them, make a game out of it, give them the hand written letters you prepared for this. After the meal, you tell them you need get moving to the next location. You two are walking along together and in the background there seems to be the faintest hint of their favourite music playing. You move towards it. It leads you to your partners friends house where they are having a party. As soon as you two approach though its clear that this is no typical party, this is a drinking game type of party.

Together you and your partner must play each drinking game and win or lose you have to keep moving on. After you two get through the whole house you end up on the balcony over looking the neighbourhood. Fireworks go off and you two kiss in the moonlight. The fireworks will either stop on their own or when someone is injured. You stop passionately kissing and peer off into the distance with your loved one in your arms. It just so happens at this time their is a light shining in the distance sending coded messages. You tell your partner thats where we must go next. You guys get down from the balcony via ladder. Together you hold hands and walk down the street to this new shining light. You talk, you laugh, you make them feel important. As you get closer they realize it’s their dream house, the one with the cute door and nicely styled windows. You tell them you’ve opened up the conversation about buying it with your realtor. Except then you mention that you first started putting down payments on it six months ago.

They turn to you flabbergasted. You have put them through an emotional rollercoaster tonight and they are overwhelmed. You grab their hand and lead them into their new house. There, the house is fully furnished and the puppy they chose is waiting in its kennel. You let out the little doggo and allow your significant other to frolic with them. You grab a bottle of alcohol and a few glasses. Head into the living room, pour the drinks and play with the puppy. Also have your partner’s favourite movie or show prepared on the television. Spend the rest of the night accordingly. Fall asleep with them in your arms on the couch with your new fur baby.

It’s the little things that make a date perfect. Just putting in careful thought and planning will make all the difference in the world as to where your relationship will go. Nothing you do ever has to be this intricate or well planned but if you’re not putting in the effort to spend time with the person you love, who is? Love is never a competition but there should always be an effort made on both parts. Show your appreciation this Valentine’s Day and make 2018 your relationships year.