April 20, 2006:
Dear Jess,
Today I gave birth to our angel, a beautiful baby girl, 6 lbs and 12 oz. We named her
Rosemary, after Michael’s grandmother. I was in labour for 16 hours, but I’m sure time stopped
the moment we stepped into the hospital. Michael says I had something called a “perineal
tear.” I was pretty out of it, so Michael okayed the doctor to stitch me back up. Apparently, that
happens all the time.
I know we saw that horrible video in health class, but I still felt so unprepared to actually
go through it. My OBGYN walked me through what to do when my water broke months ago,
but she didn’t warn me at all about dealing with the doctors and nurses. I swear they were all
staring at me as I waddled my way through the halls to the delivery room, but I couldn’t quite
tell. When we arrived, there was a doctor that I didn’t recognize, but Michael seemed to know
him. They shook hands and helped me get onto the bed. As a nurse gave me the epidural (the
needle is almost scarier than labour itself), I asked where my OB was, but I don’t recall getting
an answer. I think I was in and out of consciousness the whole time. The doctor whose name I
still don’t remember said that was normal, and that he and his team took good care of me while
I was out. Michael said they talked golf nearly the whole time, I don’t remember it too clearly
but that certainly sounds like him.
Rosemary is healthy, she didn’t just cry right away, she wailed. You said I would feel
better when she was finally born, so why don’t I? Linda from prenatal yoga, which I still think is
stupid no matter how many classes you gift me for Christmas by the way, says she felt all her
doubts fall away the moment she held her son for the first time, but I didn’t have that moment.
I wish we could trade places; you would be a million times the mother I will ever be. How about
you be mom, and I’ll be cool Auntie Aggie? I’m still in a lot of pain, sorry if this email is a short
one. I miss you and I hope to God I can see you again soon.
Love you lots,
Agnes
April 21, 2006:
Agnes please!
You didn’t even tell me you were going into labour! I could kill you, I told you to keep
me up to date! I googled that tear thing, and it looks nasty, now I have to go bleach my eyes. I
hope yours wasn’t as bad as that lady’s! Anyways, I’m so glad to hear Rosemary is doing well,
that is such a beautiful name. Michael must be just over the moon, he’s been looking forward
to this for so long. You both were. Which one of you does she look more like? Or does she look
like her stunningly beautiful aunt?
I’m sorry you had such a rough time at the hospital. Were they out of wheelchairs or
did they just want to glare at you while you walked? Nurses can be so nasty sometimes. Do you
remember Natalie from high school? She moved to Saskatchewan and became a nurse; she’s
always complaining about patients on Facebook, I’m tempted to report her to her boss but that
might be too petty, even for me. Hopefully the nurse who gave you the epidural was nicer than
her, but even if she wasn’t, at least she was giving you drugs! I’m glad to hear that Michael got
along with the delivery team, I know how jittery he gets when he has no one to talk to. Maybe
it’s for the best that your regular OBGYN wasn’t there, he was always complaining that she was
too pushy.
As for all your worries, don’t say those things about yourself! You are going to be the
best mother in the world, I have the utmost confidence in you. Just think of how Mom and Dad
did it and then adjust accordingly, plus you have Michael to help keep your head on straight.
Maybe I’ll get you a postnatal yoga class this Christmas, it sounds like Linda could be a good
source of motherly advice. I don’t care if you think they’re stupid, it’s good for you! If you keep
trying it, you’ll get your pre-baby body back in no time! Also, there’s no way we’re switching
spots, I’m nowhere near ready to be a mom. I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast
yesterday, how am I supposed to teach a baby how to read? I love the three of you so much
and I can’t wait to finally meet your little sweetheart.
Talk to you soon!
Jessica
P.S. Sherman says thank you for the catnip <3