Dear Quintilius,

My partner thinks I’m cheating on them all because of one little incident where I had a friend over and we were both naked. How can I help them change their mind about me?

Sincerely, Not A Cheater


Dear Epitome Of Fidelity,

You obviously seem like a genuine person from the 30 words you sent me so I will offer you my best advice. It will be a step by step process to make sure you retain your partner and don’t lose them because of a one time party in your birthday suit. However this advice will only work if your partner is an idiot, which because they doubted you the first time I'm inclined to believe they’re not. But best of luck.

Alright the first thing you have to do is not get caught naked, half naked or even partially naked when around anyone other than your partner. This isn't ancient Gaul and you’re not some germanic warrior trying to frighten their opponents. You must control yourself and resist the urge to strip, even if you feel it is your calling.

Next do not lie or mislead your partner in any which way. As soon as little doubts and deceptions start taking place it is easy for assumptions to be made. Some partners have been hurt in past relationships or felt betrayed by close friends. They are counting on you and offering vulnerability by opening themselves up to you to be in a relationship. Don’t destroy their trust. 

Final thing to do is realize that trust takes time to build. When trust tries to be founded on thin ice it will often break through and leave every feeling cold and miserable. You need a solid foundation to build on and if you currently do not have that foundation, you need to find it first and foremost. Whether thats through opening up about your feelings or putting some distance between you and your friends you hang around naked with, somethings to be done.

All Salute The Eternal City,

Qunitilius of Rome